MARUDEKHA!

Happy maruhdeykha to all!

Pop goes the enzyme. :D

Oh well, I'm not supposed to succumb to internetly pleasures. See ya next week. :)

GO AWAY.

You're not the only one.

All you can do is keep breathing.

All you can do is keep working hard.

All you can do is keep it to yourself. And all you can do is to forget it.

But all you must do is remember. The formulae for Calculus.

animate your world.

Enervated to the max, the week has been rather progressive compared to the past ones. Today, weirdly despite my sleep deprivation (in some way), I was able to summon strength to drag myself to college and I was actually quite energetic today mentally as I was gladly able to cope with today's Calculus, unlike yesterday.

Attended World Religion class with Mr V again today. 'Twas awesome to the max to the max to the kao kao. The class is not as pristine as the name sounds thanks to Mr V who is just amazingly able to deliver his lecture in a way that is rather appropriate since the topics are very much distorted by media, personal discrimination as well as common stereotypes, as well as being able to make ultra jokes which was a bonus to the lectures.

"Once upon a time, long long ago, far far away, in..." is kind of already his trademark.

Imagine thousands of them. (Oh, showing his tongue is one of them.)

Today's jokes were authentic as usual and hysterical.

"The Chinese always cannot pronounce 'rrrrrr', they pronounce it as 'l'. So do you know why the people of China are so democlatic? They wake up with an election every morning."

"The Malays also. They like to pronounce 'f' like 'p'. That's why they never park their car."

And the class laughed like mad. Priceless.

Tomorrow's probably the quiz for unit of probability for Statistics course. Ah. The dread.

Nevertheless I must keep in mind the order of priority I will give to the courses. I just haven't made up my mind where in the world should I slot in the preparation for SAT. Crap.

Oh one more Mr V's joke. Really awesome. His jokes are always so unexpected.

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Condensed version: "So there's this grandfather and son going to attend the PowWow (A gathering for Native American civilizations) and they went on their CRV. So they travelled all over America and finally came to California. So the son went to register for both of them, while the grandfather goes to the washroom.

Receptionist: "Name?"

Son: "Little Eagle."

Receptionist: "Are you here alone?"

Son: "No. I came with my grandfather."

Receptionist: "Oh! That must be Great Eagle!"

Son: "Eh? How you know one?"

Receptionist: "What's your tribe?"

Son: "Fukawee." (Pronounced: fuh-ker-wee)

Receptionist: "Huh? We have the Sioux, we have the Apache, we have the Dakota, but we don't have Fukawee. Are you sure your tribe is called Fukawee?

Son: "Yeah. I'm very sure cuz everytime we stop at the gas station, my grandfather will go to the toilet and come out and say 'Where the fuck are we?' "

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I have officially no drive to continue writing. Probably sleep again and wake up later to study Chemistry. Woohoo. Ah crap, just remembered Stats. D:

i actually thought,

that I may never never never ever want to ever think about the four-letter word anymore. I don't want to, but I sort of want to.

But why? Why would I want something that had been ruining whole of my life?

If its a puppy, I want. But ****.

Is it actually ****? Or ****?

Why? I actually thought it was for lower lifeforms whom have only indifference to the operational world, or those who have no clue on life. Belittling, discriminative.

I want to stop. I want to stop.

I want you to stop. Stop here for me. Come into me, find me. Amidst the nothingness, I see...

nothing

some statistics homework later

nothing

i just turn away i 'pretend' i want i want i want i don't know

or maybe i don't want.

if things were to be easy

simplified

normal

and of course destined

i wouldn't take this route

i will continue to stare at nothingness

and wait

wait

well maybe not for long since its the better route

until

*** **** ***.

i cry

none see

they don't have to

i cry

i hate

i love

i don't know

the conclusion is always uncertainty

we all go on without anything

in the end we're all the same

filthy creatures

when *** **** ***

maybe the curse will be broken?

i cannot wait

to the power of lon sine cos theta squared.

I am publishing this post, because, uh, I just got the friggin internet back after 3 bugging weeks without internet.

I am supposed to be at the library cramming for chemistry when I am here at home, sulking from the post-fever and eating disorder symptoms as well as the overperspiration (God I hate my hypothalamus), lying on bed, not being able to do anything but, yeah, REST.

I hate rest. Call me a workaholic. But you will eventually realize life is as short as I am, which is real short, and there's way too little time to actually accomplish what I want in life. I calculated mine...

My life is 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 pico% complete. Thank you. I can't afford to have any planes crashing exactly on top of me, or the universes having a galactic fuckup now. Too early.

Life has been uninteresting as usual, except that I had been deriving rate law formulae for the third time this week. Haha. Stupid. Doing unneccessary things, again.

Oh come on already. I really wanna summon the strength to go to the library and just start doing extra calculus work and read up chemistry already (my major for chrissake, now I realize that it deserves 200% more attention than what I gave). Okay. I don't care anymore, I'm just gonna go to the library no matter what now. Rest is a total waste of time. Who needs 'em? Fuck rest.

Ok. Right after I rest.

WALAOEH 101

Warning: No animals nor plants (maybe yes, paper ah?) were harmed during the production of this post. Okay, maybe a human, who's trying so hard, like, FUCKING hard to cope with his statistics course so far, which just loaded him with some eons worth of homework and just ruined his puny plan to enjoy reading up organic chemistry as well as spending quality time with (YES FUCK THIS -->) the newly modified piano FTW! Which actually imitates the touch of a grand piano well!

No post here.

It's 12 AM. I woke up at 4 AM today.

I mean, yesterday. So whaddya expect?

So just freaking fuck off and do your statistics homework. Oh sorry, I mean fuck myself.

Okay. I made my point: To make a presentation of how fucked up I currently am.

Promise: Will provide food for thought soon. (I got inspired a lot recently.)

p/s: Sorry for the unintriguing vocab. Lazy liao. Its 12 AM WHaddya ExPECt?! =_=

girls night out. with a guy. adui.

Last night had been nonetheless a wonderful night because I (conveniently) did not go to the library at night to study and use the American Heritage dictionary to word-hunt in preparation of the SAT exam, which (like duh) I am apprehensive about. Like deuh.

This balk on my incessant diligence was abrupt but favorable. (I am still resilient.) Apparently, my ex-housemate from Penang (our boss Mandy) and her elder sis are around Subang just in time for dinner. Sweet. We (Mandy, her sis, Christine, Kai Xian and I) went out for dinner at Street Café, “elusively” for the 20% discount. Hah. We had fun with the usual rhetorical talk (hah, who am I kidding, I mean gossip) on what had been going on in and around the household, as well as our personal, okay maybe not so personal, adversities. We share a certain equal amount of grudge on certain people. Hint hint. No kidding. And also laughed hard at Kai Xian’s dare by Elise’s gang to go hit on Street Café’s (as perceived by the girls) manly boss. Hysterical.

After dinner, we felt like having an extra cup of drink somewhere else, probably thanks to the high monosodium glutamate amount in the food we took. Geez. Well, it was notwithstanding the rather vile weather, a great idea to have some iced sparkling juice which comprised 99% sugar. Sweet, indeed. At the mean time, we did have some innocuous games of Jenga blocks! Brilliant game, I’d say. (Bear with me, no photos available, yet. Wait till I get home. Takde cable.) The last round was totally awesome, where we were 4 steps to total game completion. We were pros; I have to say, because the base was basically 4 sets of crosses.

However, the day had been the worst Calculus day I’d ever had. I mean, how castigating is being stuck at the second sub-question of your assignment, not knowing what or where you’ve gone wrong, being toyed around by your weak logic, then finding out your graph is wrong after 4 hours? Jesus. I almost dieded! Hoc est bellum, Calculus! I shall tame your wild obscene soul (with propriety of course, I ain’t no barbarian)! Or maybe just beat the bejesus out of you. For the first time in my life, the calculator seems so repugnant. I really prefer manual calculation a lot! Or maybe I just need a calculator with larger buttons. Heh.

Word of advice to calculus students (on integration) etc.: Make sure your graph is always correct! The hard part is never the integration; it’s always the wrong graph misleading you to take the path of superfluous calculations what the bunny.

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should!