Okay, that's nothing big. What's worrying me is, that we had this 'life talk' thing again, like I did with other friends from ADP, i.e. Faiz, Justine, Rebecca and Azrina. What were we talking about?
It made me worry more to see more people me are as insecure as (or more insecure than) me in life; we talked about apocalypse, we talked about how we humans are only touching the tip of the iceberg of the human psyche, we talked about religions (without discrimination), we talked about how God will punish us for all we've done and sinned. All these seemed to add to a suicidal thought. I start to see how all humans are naked while wearing so many garments (and certain* useless and "Eww"ish accessories), because everyone is not even close to being safe and they are constantly afraid. But of course we have (f-ing) hedonists in our world which is making life for people like me fundamentally impossible.
But I'm still here. I'm afraid. I don't know.
Numina.
Wee Onn, who's currently pursuing a major in Psychology, shared his knowledge on "abnormal" (highly subjective) psychology. The iceberg theory came up. It adds on to my fear, for I hate not being in control - which is why I hate life, and why I am afraid of being tired and needing to lose consciousness (sleep).
We talked about the antichrist. I reasoned that genetic engineers will soon lose their minds and start creating a sex god, on the basis of the study on fruit flies - one with its pheromone removed attracted male, female, and interspecies sex.
We lost meaning; I lost reasoning.
We eluded; we admired the awesome prospects of being participants of student exchange programs.
We switched a venue. Then everything "went back to normal": we were joking our asses away, making fun of each other and enjoying a nice stomach and face cramp while banging the table away with our humor. Is this psychology?
I once lost faith; now I lose hope. What's left to lose? You? I didn't (and probably won't, ever) get you.
7 comments:
nice.
it would have been more awesome if it went on non stop haha
whet... i was actually relieved it ended. i might drag everyone to commit suicide LOL
hey, too bad i cant join u guys.. miss you all so much... that night must be another "awesome" night!
lol it was the laughing that made you wanna commit suicide.
you were all cramped up. haha
erica: what is "awesome" supposed to imply? -_-"
lik: whertt. i was really cracking up and happy! :D haha i've never laughed sincerely for ages.
lol it was too hard to resist laughing yea.
yeh :)
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