Inner strength

does not exist.

It's some fancy thing you get in dramas. In TV. Or more accurately, in fantasies.

One second you will post something like: Reality is harsh, all you can do is face it.

The next nanosec, you will most probably be having the thought that your life may be the most miserable one on earth and even the most adept engineers cannot crack it.

Why are you shutting up? Why aren't you speaking up? Why?

Why?

Just tell it!

Say it!

I want the music and chemistry, I want the best, I want to meet awesome profound people!

All of it!

No, you silly! All you want is to look good and show off you have the perfect life!

Life? Does it even exist? Though I feel I might be physicalist in terms of philosphy. You're all mere stupid bunches of meat and bone, acting in a weirder way than a bunny.

No!! I have soul! I feel things. I feel the world.

Bullshit. Nonsense.

You, yeah, you're just blogging on this because you want attention huh? You want to make it like you're the most miserable person on earth, are you not?! Pathetic! Don't you know everyone goes through this? Your feelings - Just ignore them! They're mere automated response by chemicals in your body! You're majoring in chemistry, don't you realize?! Fuck off, you!

Lay there, stare. Nothing's gonna happen. You'll just end up with your mediocre lower life in the gutters. It's always like that. You'll just end up satisfying yourself with some lousy piano, and illegally downloaded scores. And live happily ever after, closing up everything to not more than 5 squarefeet around you. That, is your world.